Halloween memories

So I'm shamelessly entering to win a Canon Rebel camera from SITS. For those of you that haven't heard of SITS, it's a blogging community and great way to find other blogs.  Just to get that out of the way. :) This post is an entry. To win, I have to write about my best Halloween memory.

Cora is all that's on my mind these days, as you might imagine, so it's hard to reach back to past memories. I had one Halloween with Cora. I was pregnant with her last year. And, really pregnant! Entering my final month. I remembered dreaming of this year and the pumpkin patch.  

But, a particular memory stands out. For some reason, we decided to go somewhere in the middle of Trick or Treat. Ben said to sit the bowl of candy out on the porch. We gave away whole Hershey's bars that year because we knew we wouldn't have that many trick or treaters, and we'd bought a whole box from Sam's Club for my baby shower.

I was so shocked to come back and see some were gone, but not all of them. Ah. Life in a small town. Looks pretty nice especially compared to living here, where UPS packages are stolen off your front porch moments after their delivered. 

The Advocate

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

Winston Churchill

Someone, actually quite rudely, told me that they were annoyed by what I wrote, they rolled their eyes, that I didn't have to "advocate" for everything.

I can see how I might become "that girl." The fanatic always in arms about something.

In this case, I really don't care if I'm generalized.

I give voice to those without one.

I work to help the babies in Haiti, babies born with congenital heart defects, woman in Iran, or to support other mother's whose children died because I feel for them with my whole heart. I'm compassionate.

I'm even compassionate to the bratty person that said that. If they must sit back and judge someone else for speaking up, perhaps they feel voiceless? I get angered for a minute, but then feel nothing but compassion.

Let me be painted the wild fanatical blogger always taking up a new cause.

It's much better than the alternative, never sticking up for anything I believe in.

I've read the emails of the CHDs detected, the crutches delivered to a needy person in Haiti, and the eyes opened to the plight of the Iranian women because of what I do.

I embrace the criticism that I advocate too much.

It's what I do now. After what I went through, I can't close my eyes to the pain in the world anymore.

Makes Me Happy

I've mentioned before, it was about six months after Cora died before I could watch television, a few months after that until I could focus on a book again, and I'm just know starting to find happiness and joy in well, stuff, again.

I found this post on Epherriel Designs about what makes her happy, and after my late night Wizard of Oz scavengering  post the other day, decided for another search, of what makes me happy. 

I just recently discovered Mod Podge, this button from this blog says it

When we move, I'm making these invisible floating book shelves. They're so geeky, and they make me happy.

My husband surprising me with a massage? Makes me extremely happy. 

I've had a hidden obsession with nurseries for awhile now, just keeping it from everyone so I don't get the "so sad" looks and comments. They make me happy. 

Most of all, Cora's nursery, even though it's boxed up, given away, and torn down makes me happy. So many happy memories there. 

Easy, Cheap Picture Frame Craft Project-- A Going Away Present {Tutorial}

My  baby sister is moving away in just over a week.

So she's not a baby, she's 26, but she'll forever be my baby sister, as much as she hates it when I call her that. I always looked after her and did all the big sister stuff. This past year, the rules reversed. She looked after me, and I wasn't there to help her through everything like I used to be. I just couldn't handle anything else. She did an amazing job and is leaving on a great note.

She's my BFF as well, and I'm going to miss her so much, but am excited she's getting the opportunity to go after her dream. 

I decided to show her that even though I'm going through a rough time, I'm still in here somewhere, the big sister that always listened to her carefully, thought of how I could help her, and just thought she was the most adorable person ever.

I made her a picture frame. A total midnight run to Wal-Mart thing one night after I found an easy tutorial about how to make a picture frame online.

It was way easy to make. Here's what I used:

Large craft beads (found in the crafting aisle-- the type I found where more bubbly than those in the tutorial, but they worked). 

• Mod Podge 
• Glue (The kind I used was similar to this)
• Picture frame (Picked to fit the craft beads)
• Magazine scraps

I leafed through the magazine and found bright colors. She's moving to New York City and will probably be tucked in some pre-war hole in the wall apartment, so I wanted something colorful for her walls.

I then used the mod podge to put the scraps on the back of the craft beads, left it dry a bit and then glued them to the frame.

Totally easy, right? And, cheap. I whipped up a collage on one of the photo sites and voila, instant meaningful wall art as a going away present. 

She loved it and looked at me in awe when I said I made it myself. I didn't explain how easy it was. After all, big sisters have to keep up their reputations of pulling of the impossible.

 Told ya she loved it! Look at that happy grin.

Disclosure: When I linked to Amazon, I used my affiliate link 

Opening My Reader Closed My Book

Wow. Just had one of those moments of muttering "yes, yes" with a nod of the head at a blog post written by an insanely popular blogger but yet, I felt like he wrote it just for me.

Seth Godin is a marketing guy, or something, honestly, have much respect for the him and his work, but don't understand it all.

As I've written about over and over and over and over and over and over and so many times you're all just rolling your eyes sick of hearing about it, I'm frustrated with were I am career wise. For the past few years, I've struggled to know what to do. My chose profession, newspaper is dying. I don't think newspaper will ever die totally, but the papers aren't hiring reporters like they used to, and from what I've heard, the job of a reporter has changed in the past ten years or so.

So, anyhow, yes, yes, I'm 28 and don't know what I want to do when I grow up. But, this Seth fellow is mega popular and read by thousands, if not millions, he wrote this: 

"You might be impatient or unable to stick to your decision to take this particular road, and thus you're always starting on a new road. Since the new road is always strange to you, you rarely get any better at getting where you're going.

 And, if you're lucky, you might be on the right road, and getting better as you go."

Go read the rest of his post.

A total "uh, huh" moment. In middle school, I decided to be a writer, and specifically, a news reporter. Perhaps my dreams of again having my words published in news print daily are not going to come true, but a writer, and in media, I shall be.

I need a career tweak, not a career change. My search is for what I want to be over.

Thanks Seth! Now, I know why you're insanely popular and well known, you're pure genius!

Inspired. Somewhere Over the Rainbow Edition

If you read my post on Cora's Story, you'll notice a theme. The past few weeks I've been inspired by "The Wizard of Oz." Maybe because I read the book, "Wicked," all about the Wicked Witch of the West last week.

The Wizard of Oz brings out something ingenuous.

Stuff I found and loved all Wizard of Oz inspired. 

Ruby red shoes for a little Dorothy... cute! From Snuggle-Bugs and Bows on Etsy. 

Perfect for a home office? From Signs of a Daydreamer's Etsy shop.

Want. Cute little wallet. From CranberryLover's Etsy shop.

"Poppies. Poppies. Poppies will put them to sleep." I'm starting to get a little obsessed with poppies now too. A print from Orange Willow's Etsy shop.

*I wasn't paid, and haven't even contact any of the shop owners. Just thought I'd start sharing some of my Etsy/homemade/awesome stuff finds!

Why I quit Facebook.

I did it. What many have threatened. Many have thought about.

I quit Facebook.

For a while now, something about Facebook, or “Dramabook” as a friend called it, wasn't sitting right with me. I’d said a few times I felt like a stranger in my own profile. When it comes down to it, there were a lot of reasons I quit Facebook. Well, and to be fair, I still run Cora’s page and a page for this blog and have a tiny profile I don’t plan on updating to run them from. So, I didn’t totally leave Facebook.

But, I quit my personal page.

1. Everything was a debate. I’m known for a love of debating/arguing and really thinking about things with my friends. But, there’s a time and a place. Sometimes, I just wanted to post how I felt and get support or to vent. But, it seems like my status updates were starting to be place for everyone to argue and debate over whatever it was. I just didn’t have the energy to moderate and calm egos to make sure no one was attacked/offended.

2. OMG the drama!! Every few weeks, or couple of days, “fights” would erupt. And, yes, I deleted those people that caused the most of it, but still heard about it, and was just annoyed.

3. It was too hard. In a week, 13 children died whose parents were on Facebook and connected to me there. I cried so much. At one point, I called the pharmacy to see if I had a refill for an old anti-anxiety medication, something I’d taken for just a few months immediately after Cora’s death. While I want to be there for people, it was ripping me to little shreds. I still seek out families to offer words of comfort on their blog, and through Cora’s Facebook page, but having it forced down my throat was so much.

4. Facebook was messing with my head. Really. It was. I might jump on to share a link and a baby coffin would pop up in my feed or something else that I was unprepared for. The shock of these images was only making my PTSD worse. I’m sure of it.

5. I can’t intimately keep up with 1400 people. That’s about how many were on my friend’s list. And, I’m a caring person. I cared for (almost) all of them. If I read that someone was having a bad day, I took to learn why and help them fix it. I got upset at their problems. I worried about their financial situations, their health, their grandparent’s health. You name it. But, to get that emotionally involved with 1400 people? Exhausting. I feel bad saying it. I feel bad for abandoning these people, most strangers. Facebook has become a place where people share intimately designed for people to either abandon it or become close with all. It’s impossible to share that sort of intimacy with 1400 people.

6. I was getting rather irritated at Facebook’s lack of regard for my privacy and data. I was a fan of the new group’s feature, thought it might help me control my use, but that backfired when I found strangers being added to my groups because of a Facebook design flaw.

7. I was spending too much time on Facebook. Facebook became integrated in what I did to spread Cora’s Story, but I spent waayyyy too much time there. I’m going to write a post about how I’m using that time now.
 
8. Facebook constantly made me feel bad. It’s true. I was constantly getting messages about what people were saying. People questioning what I was doing. I share Cora’s Story. I share her love and beauty period. At the end of this, I’ll share a story about the worse of this.

9. While many people on my friend’s list loved, or at least appreciated me, some flat out hated me. I found out after that people told other people we didn’t “get along” or other things. And you know what? To be honest? There were one or two I didn’t like much either.

10. I met some really black hearted, morally corrupt people there. First, for every one of them, let me say, I met 500 good people, literally. But, just like in the real world there are some really bad people, there are also on Facebook and in online communities. I didn’t want to see it. I deleted them after I found out. But, getting messages from a wife that her husband was cheating on her? Flipped me out. It was gross. I didn’t want to know. And, I didn’t want to be in any way related to those people. And, drug use. And, accepting drug money, because someone was broke. And, then with others kids being taken away for abuse allegations. I’m all for accepting and forgiving people, but if they were in the middle of this stuff? I didn’t need them near me. I deleted anyone with anything like that over their head, but it came to my attention that there could be more evilness.

11. I was getting news of harassment. I read nasty profile updates. And, then started getting notes from my friends that they were being tracked down to get a note about how awful I was. Too much. Too silly. Too much drama. That folks? Is harassment. I considered contacting the proper authorities. And, that’s when I decided the time had come. For me to quit Facebook.

12. My family and friends seemed afraid of my Facebook. They read all this crazy stuff I think and didn’t comment on my stuff anymore. And, isn’t that Facebook is about? Connecting with family and friends? At least personal accounts.

13. Facebook seems to breed bullies and hate. I think Facebook is where people first started gathering and hating on my friend Jill because of a choice she made. You probably know her story. She was harassed on the very day her son died. Just like it brings people together for good, it helps people build on the bad. It's where the inactivists first gathered against her. I'm not sure Facebook is to blame itself, I think this happens on any large social networking site, but I'm done with hate. I'm done with negativity. Just done with it.

So I quit. I worried that people would take it personally and think I’d blocked or deleted them, part of why I write this. I deleted almost everyone off my list individually if I had a big problem with them. It wasn’t you.
Interestingly enough, my decision was reaffirmed just an hour or so after I left. I thought a group I’d made for just the heart families on my list would delete when I left. I heard it did not and that there was drama there, so I reactivated and rejoined just to delete that group.

And in the chat of my own little <3 family? The little group I’d made for love and support? I saw people bashing me. It hurt. But, I also realized how little some of these people knew about me or cared to know. One said mean things but acknowledged I’d taken time to “find links to share” like all this time, all these relationships I created, all those links I WROTE myself didn’t matter. The crazy thing? I didn’t even recognize that girl’s name. Have no clue who she is. Another wrote about how dramatic I was. For months, I hid what I knew about others and just deleted them. I rarely ever commented publicly about anything to do with the infighting. I did choose to write a status update with my contact info when I left, but dramatic, they had no clue.

If you’re on Facebook and have people you’ve added that you don’t personally know, think about it. Really think about that choice and apply a filter to what they say. And, use the delete option to weed your friend's list. It's YOUR Facebook. Don't let it get out of control. Learn from me and my mistakes.

If we used to be Facebook friends, please stay in touch, on my Facebook page for this blog or through email. I’m at kbrite at gmail dot com.

Do you have reasons why you'd like to quit Facebook some times?

And, oh yeah, I also moderate these comments now! So be nice.